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On Finding Happiness



As I sit in the late afternoon at my computer, I have the distinct pleasure of viewing a very pretty Japanese coral bark maple ‘Sangu Kaku’ out my window. She is wearing her autumn glorious colors of yellow and orange. If I were honest with myself, I would admit to spending many hours sitting and just enjoying the view from this window but it is especially pretty in the golden light of fall. I can also see a peek of the Coast Range behind it, with the sun casting its glow on the alders on the mountain.


It may not be the most stunning view from any window on the coast because I know of beautiful views of Tillamook and Netarts Bays, the Pacific Ocean, and all the beauty that lies between the mountains and the beaches. But this view is special to my heart because it is my tree, my window, my view.


Rabbi Hyman Schachtel of Houston once proposed that “Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have.” And I can truly say that has been true in my life. Happiness is something we must chose, something we must strive for. It doesn’t come naturally, it isn’t a God-given right, and so many times it doesn’t come easily. But it is worth searching for and striving to achieve.


There are many, many quotes about happiness by famous people. Abraham Lincoln, for example, said “Folks are usually about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Which is pretty similar Rabbi Schachtel’s quote.


“So how does that relate to gardening?” you may be asking. I find a lot of happiness in my garden but also in the gardens of other people and in public gardens as well. There seems to be a feeling of deep peace when you are surrounded by plants, trees, and flowers. It is a connection with the Earth and with Mother Nature. Maybe it is the calming color of green leaves. Maybe it is the happy color of yellow flowers, or the seductive deep red of a ‘Munstead Wood’ rose.


Or is it birdsong that surrounds our space with soft melodies? Or perhaps the vision of a butterfly flitting as they do from flower to flower? Or a hummingbird doing the same thing? I can’t help but smile when I hear the sparrows or wrens or see the Viceroy butterfly or Anna’s hummingbird in the garden. Even if I am working at pulling weeds or doing some other less desirable chore, I find it more pleasurable to have the company of these creatures around me. And if I stop to enjoy that song or watch that butterfly, who is there to criticize me? For no one is truly immune to the joys of nature if they will only let themselves be lost in it.


I defy you to take a walk in the woods and not feel better after your walk than you did when you went in. Don’t just walk on the beach, absorb all that is happening around you as you go. Seagulls, certainly, but there is so much more. Tiny crabs and clams that wash up into a tidal pool are worth taking a few moments from your power walk to watch for a bit.


Having been without Gary for a year now has been a strain on my concept of happiness. But I find that, while I am sad most days, I am not sad all day, and that is progress to me. I do have to work a little harder at finding things to be happy about.


Being with our grandchildren and raising a dog by myself at this time in my life is not the most relaxing for me, but I wouldn’t trade any of them. For through the eyes of children – and puppies or kittens – do we see the wonder of the world. I delight in exploring the woods, the ocean and the beaches with the grandchildren. Flying a kite, opening a clam, watching an eagle soar…everything is a miracle to a six-year old. And it reminds me it should be a miracle to me as well.


Same with the dog.  Yes, she gets easily distracted by everything – cars, people, children, dogs, cats, birds, squirrels - but it is because she is so amazed when other critters inhabit her space. “Where did that crow come from? And where is it going?” If I stop and watch what she is watching, I learn so much not just from her, but from watching her distraction of the moment.


Happiness? You bet. Time consuming? Yes, but oh so worth it.


In the sometimes-difficult world we live in, happiness may seem elusive and, on some days, non-existent. We can’t expect to have Happiness-with-a- capital-H every day. Those are special times reserved for the birth of a child or the wedding of dear friends. But it is sometimes the little bursts of happiness that make our lives fun and bring that smile every single day.


Find a little bit of happiness everywhere and, pretty soon, you will find more and more reasons to be happy each day. And life will start looking brighter and even those chores will be easier to handle.

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